Today, the toxicology reports came back and it has been reported that the Queen of Pop died of drowning due to heart disease and cocaine use. I'm shocked, although many people knew that drugs would be her downfall. I kind of thought she was weening off of drugs and trying to rehabilitate herself. It's so unfortunate that in the end, she became weak to the drugs. And the even sadder thing is, maybe she didn't know she had a heart condition. That's a reason why I tell people, make sure you get yearly/bi-yearly check-ups as needed. I pray that the family has closure and they can move forward in the healing process. Honestly, I don't know how it feels to have a parent that was/is on drugs, so I feel for Bobbi Kristina. I lost my daddy last August, but couldn't dare bare the thought of losing my mother, considering she's the only one I have now. I pray that God continues to watch over Bobbi Kristina, Mrs. Cissy Houston, and the rest of the Houston family! 

*** For CNN's OFFICIAL story, click:  http://news.blogs.cnn.com/2012/03/22/coroner-drowning-heart-disease-cocaine-use-killed-houston/?hpt=hp_t1 


 
 
I've never seen anything like this. Someone on Facebook shared this...and I was like WOW! I thought Dolphins only had sex or desired to have sex with their "kind". After seeing this, I suppose so though...
 
 
So this guy I was talking to was like "Well if u aint gimme no ass, we dont need to talk"..nigga, Idk u from a hole in the wall! Why would I have sex with a COMPLETE stranger? Ladies, I know I'm not just being old fashioned...? Its TOO much going around to act careless..I think people should at least know each other and be working on something before jumping into a sexual relationship. My body is my temple, and I will treat it with care! If a man doesnt understand that, so be it! I'll find someone that will understand!

Any thoughts on this??

 
 
Found this old blog I wrote about the death of grandma...I remember when I wrote it, and it still brings tears to my eyes...=( RIP Grandmama...I love and miss u! And I will see u again one day!

It all started October of 2003. We had just took a trip to Biloxi, Miss. My grandmother had developed a terrible cough and often became short of breath. My mom decided to take my grandma to the doctor. Once we got there, my grandmother had to go through a selection of different tests. I was only 10 years old but I remember alot. Once my grandmother and mom came out of the examination room, I knew something was wrong. Their faces seemed sour. I asked my mother what was wrong. She said my grandmother was diagnosed with lung cancer. That was the first day of a nightmare. Over the next year my grandmother went into the hospital multiple times and underwent chemotherapy and radiation. My mom and aunts went through a lot of physical and emotional stress and so did I. I loved my grandma dearly and was the closest to her. Me and her had a wonderful bond. On October 13,2004, me and my sister decided to spend the night with our Aunt Jan. The next morning my aunt got a call saying my grandma had passed out. My aunt took us home to where our mother was. I remember seeing my grandma in a way I had never seen her before. She looked tired and empty. One thing about my grandma was that when she was sick...she still stood strong. She was the strongest woman I knew. On the evening of October 14, 2004, my grandmother fell into a coma. She stayed in the hospital awhile and then the doctors thought it was best to move her to a nursing home. She entered into NHC. Her days there would be vcry short. On October 22, the family hosted a small birthday party for my grandma's 68th birthday. My grandmother didnt look well at all. I have never seen my grandmother like this before. It didnt seem right at all. For the next 4 days we visited her. On the early morning hours of Tuesday, October 26, 2004, there was a loud bang on the door. My mom opened it to see my oldest aunt standing in front of it. My mom knew what it was she was there for. My grandmother that I had only been able to be with for 10 years had died of cardiac arrest. That day will always be the worst day of my life. My mom collapsed with pain. With her being the youngest child and living down the street from my grandmother she took it the hardest. I tried to stay strong for the sake of my sister. I cried.  All of my family showed up at the nursing home to view the body before the funeral home came. My aunt in law took me into the room to see my grandmother. My grandmother was no longer in pain...she was free. She was free from everything. I gave my grandmother the last kiss I would ever be able to give her. The next couple of days were terrible. My mom , aunts, and uncles had to plan my grandmother's funeral. The generous help of everyone was deeply appreciated. October 30, 2004 was the last day I could ever see my grandmother again. Walking up the aisle to see my grandmother, I saw alot of people crying. Soon it became my turn to view the body. That is when it came to reality that I would never see my grandmother live and well again. It was over for her. I went to sit by one of my twin cousins. I cried my heart out on his shoulder. My grandmother was my all and everything. Whenever I had a problem, she was there. She was there to fill in the missing piece to every puzzle. Living without her would forever be a struggle. I had to undergo counseling to cope with her death. I wanted her to see my grow up. I wanted her to see me get married and start a family. I wish that she could have been around a lot longer. It is taking everything I have to stop from crying now. I learnt that she is free and is no longer in the dungeon called Earth. She is God's Angel and is doing her heavanly duties. I know that she is watching over me right now and one day I will be able to run up to her and hug her and say how much I have missed her. I know that that day will come soon enough. I am still coping with the death of her. When October of this year comes..some unhealed wounds may open back up. I know that she would want me to be strong and move forward. My grandmother was super strong and she wants me to follow in her footsteps. And that is exactly what I am striving to do! R.I.P. Grandma! I love you and I will always miss you! I was so lucky to have a grandmother like you!

 
 
Heart on the line once again

Hoping this time it’s worth it

Maybe I’ll win….

Love isn’t a game

Yet it isn’t all people proclaim

It offers major upsets, endless heartaches, and unanswered questions

Some wonder why it hurts so much

Considering love isn’t even in our reach

It is something we can not touch

I myself often wonder why I try

When in the end I’m alone

Attempting not to cry

Following a man’s word not realizing it was all a lie

Hoping someone will rescue me

From all my pain and agony

But once again, forgetting all of the past

My heart is on the line

Hoping God has answered my prayers

And my prayer won’t be declined

But in the end, I shall see

What was truly meant to be

Only God knows

To me the future is a mystery


 
 
Relationships....are....complicated. Thats the first word that come to my mind when I think about relationships and love. I have yet to truly discover real love. Guys these days are immature and truly dont know what they want. Some guys arent ready to just settle down and be with one person. And thats the cold truth. Hell...some girls arent either. So I've just decided to just be single and explore my options. I dont wanna settle so quick and get hurt. Its best that way. I wanna meet and get to know different individuals and see how we connect. I want love to come naturally...because thats how its suppose to be. I'm done with "looking" for love. As long as I'm looking...I'm gonna run into some people that dont even deserve to be in my life. And that would cause me more heartbreak. Having a broken heart is the hardest thing to get over. I've learned to develop feelings so quick. I'm done with wasting my precious time with foolish guys that dont know what they want in a relationship and in life in general. I have goals in life and the last thing I need is someone holding me back because they're constantly bringing drama into my life.

So I'm just gonna sit back and relax...and let love come to me. In the meantime I'm gonna live my life and get myself together. So many women think they "need" a man. Men sometimes think the same. Be content with you first and then everything will fall into place. One thing I know is that there's someone for me. Everyone has a soulmate. If you ever meet them just depends on your decisions in life and love! I refuse to settle just because I dont wanna be alone. Thats some bs. I deserve the best, and thats exactly what I'm gonna get! Settling wont get you anywhere. You wont find your soulmate if you just settle. I have a certain guy I like...and the guys that "try" to talk to me are from it. They're immature...they're thirsty...and they dont have goals in life. I may be single...but I'm not desperate! I'm a beautiful young woman....and someone wouldnt mind treating me like they're queen! lol Why settle for someone thats gonna be in the same position they're in now 5 years from now?? Forget that! I've gone through alot when it comes to relationships...I've dealt with cheaters, liars, sex crazed mofos, and all kinda crazy stuff. And the reason why I came across them is because I didnt take the time to get to know them. I just jumped into something...which was my mistake. I'm done making them mistakes! So until I find "the one" and I trust in my heart he's meant for me...I guess I'll just be single because I refuse to settle for anything less than what I deserve.

 
 
Recently, my mother blogged about a common mistake that most men and women do when they have someone good. So here it is. And might I add, it's deep! My mama don't play, and she keeps it real..which is where I get it from! 
 
 
Never thought I'd lose a parent so soon in my life. But I am fortunate that my daddy got to see me reach 17 years old. My heart was broken when I found out I had lost my daddy. We didnt have a real relationship, but he was still my daddy..and without him, I wouldnt be here. I wish I could have spent time with him and gotten to know the real him. I wish we could have been around each other a lot more in my life. The last time we talked, we had ended off on a bad note...but I'm glad I got a chance to tell him I loved him and I was sorry. I do love my daddy with all of my heart and soul...and without him in my life, there will always be a void in my heart. When my aunt told me what had happened, my heart sunk. I thought to myself, "How could this happen to me?" It's hard...I cant even lie. But with God, I can get through any and everything. I've lost both of my maternal grandparents, and I said if I can get through my grandma's death, I can get through ANYTHING! My grandma was my pride and joy, my everything! But God makes no mistakes, and there's a reason for everything He does. My daddy is no longer suffering. He fought a good battle the last day of his life, but God was ready to call him home. And the only thing me and my family can do is accept it and move on. Life is short, so we have to enjoy the time we do have left. Yes, I'm very sad...but everything's gonna be alright. God will not put any more on us than we can handle. God will never leave nor forsake us. My daddy is an angel in Heaven now...and I should be glad that he has met his maker. He's resting in paradise..and one day I will see him again. I'll get to see him smile and laugh...and we will be together again. He wouldnt want me to mope around and be sad all the time...he'd want me to continue to live life and be the successful woman he and God wants me to be. And that's what I intend to do. I'ma make my daddy, my grandma, and my grandpa proud! And I know that they'll always be in my heart...and they're watching down on me! I love them with all my heart and soul...and we shall meet again. I'm not saying goodbye because we will meet again, so right now I say See you later Daddy, Grandma, and Grandpa! 
 
 
Blinded by love

I was such a fool

Loving someone like you

Shouldn't have been a must

You were there for me

Being everything a man should be

Little did I know

The real you was a mystery

With time, the lies unfolded

Unlocking your true identity

Hurting me every step of the way

Heart shattering more day by day

Your actions were shocking

How could I be such a fool?

How could I fall for your type?

Leaving me questioning myself

About my judgement of wrong and right

In the end I learned

Never again would I love so deeply

Never again would I sacrifice my heart

Never again would I be so stupid

Never again would I subject myself to pain

I learned to move on

Although it was hard

I had to suck it up and be strong

No need in battling with myself

No need in continuing to be foolish

I refused to stay in your web of lies

It was clear that the love you claim you had for me never existed...

 
 
Even though your identity is unknown
You're out in the world somewhere
You're waiting for me
I'm waiting for your face to be shown
I want your arms to hold me
I need your heart to love me
And your soul to embrace me
Souls combined
Hearts intertwined
I shall be yours
And you shall be mine
I want to be the only woman you want nor need
With no words to doubt
Only words to believe
I shall be your precious jewel
Rare in your eyes
You shall be my rare gem
Truly one of a kind
We shall be each other's everything
Being there for one another in any time of need
I'll be your angel if you be my wings
Forever may not be our love's lifespan
But til the end it shall be
Against the world we stand
Only you and me