Found this old blog I wrote about the death of grandma...I remember when I wrote it, and it still brings tears to my eyes...=( RIP Grandmama...I love and miss u! And I will see u again one day!

It all started October of 2003. We had just took a trip to Biloxi, Miss. My grandmother had developed a terrible cough and often became short of breath. My mom decided to take my grandma to the doctor. Once we got there, my grandmother had to go through a selection of different tests. I was only 10 years old but I remember alot. Once my grandmother and mom came out of the examination room, I knew something was wrong. Their faces seemed sour. I asked my mother what was wrong. She said my grandmother was diagnosed with lung cancer. That was the first day of a nightmare. Over the next year my grandmother went into the hospital multiple times and underwent chemotherapy and radiation. My mom and aunts went through a lot of physical and emotional stress and so did I. I loved my grandma dearly and was the closest to her. Me and her had a wonderful bond. On October 13,2004, me and my sister decided to spend the night with our Aunt Jan. The next morning my aunt got a call saying my grandma had passed out. My aunt took us home to where our mother was. I remember seeing my grandma in a way I had never seen her before. She looked tired and empty. One thing about my grandma was that when she was sick...she still stood strong. She was the strongest woman I knew. On the evening of October 14, 2004, my grandmother fell into a coma. She stayed in the hospital awhile and then the doctors thought it was best to move her to a nursing home. She entered into NHC. Her days there would be vcry short. On October 22, the family hosted a small birthday party for my grandma's 68th birthday. My grandmother didnt look well at all. I have never seen my grandmother like this before. It didnt seem right at all. For the next 4 days we visited her. On the early morning hours of Tuesday, October 26, 2004, there was a loud bang on the door. My mom opened it to see my oldest aunt standing in front of it. My mom knew what it was she was there for. My grandmother that I had only been able to be with for 10 years had died of cardiac arrest. That day will always be the worst day of my life. My mom collapsed with pain. With her being the youngest child and living down the street from my grandmother she took it the hardest. I tried to stay strong for the sake of my sister. I cried.  All of my family showed up at the nursing home to view the body before the funeral home came. My aunt in law took me into the room to see my grandmother. My grandmother was no longer in pain...she was free. She was free from everything. I gave my grandmother the last kiss I would ever be able to give her. The next couple of days were terrible. My mom , aunts, and uncles had to plan my grandmother's funeral. The generous help of everyone was deeply appreciated. October 30, 2004 was the last day I could ever see my grandmother again. Walking up the aisle to see my grandmother, I saw alot of people crying. Soon it became my turn to view the body. That is when it came to reality that I would never see my grandmother live and well again. It was over for her. I went to sit by one of my twin cousins. I cried my heart out on his shoulder. My grandmother was my all and everything. Whenever I had a problem, she was there. She was there to fill in the missing piece to every puzzle. Living without her would forever be a struggle. I had to undergo counseling to cope with her death. I wanted her to see my grow up. I wanted her to see me get married and start a family. I wish that she could have been around a lot longer. It is taking everything I have to stop from crying now. I learnt that she is free and is no longer in the dungeon called Earth. She is God's Angel and is doing her heavanly duties. I know that she is watching over me right now and one day I will be able to run up to her and hug her and say how much I have missed her. I know that that day will come soon enough. I am still coping with the death of her. When October of this year comes..some unhealed wounds may open back up. I know that she would want me to be strong and move forward. My grandmother was super strong and she wants me to follow in her footsteps. And that is exactly what I am striving to do! R.I.P. Grandma! I love you and I will always miss you! I was so lucky to have a grandmother like you!


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